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She looked at me, her eyes were so sad. It was clear how much my actions had affected her. “Because you still have feelings for her. I’m not going to lie; it hurts knowing that I may never be able to replace her in your heart.” She turned away from me. “I don’t know if I can handle feeling like your second choice.”

  “You will never be my second choice!” I bit out, a little harsher than I intended. Tonight made me realize that. The connection I had with Emily paled in comparison to what I had with Lexi. However, it wouldn’t matter what I said or how hard I tried to convince her, she was always going to have doubts. I had made sure of that tonight.

  She shook her head and crossed her arms defensively. “Please don’t say things just because you think that’s what I want to hear. I want honesty. Just admit you still love her.”

  “You want honesty?” I asked, her blue eyes staring back at me. There was no way to hide the frustration in my tone. “Fine, I’ll give you honesty. When I saw her, I felt absolutely nothing.” I watched as my words started to slowly sink in. “I realized in that moment that I was truly and completely over her. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll always care about her on some level, but it doesn’t even come close to what I feel for you.”

  I had finally put my finger on it. I’d been with Emily because she was the right thing at that particular moment in my life. Lexi, on the other hand was more than just a moment. I wanted her in a way that I’d never wanted anyone before. Not even Emily. I couldn’t imagine my life without her.

  “How can I believe you?” She asked, with a crack in her voice. God, it killed me knowing what tonight did to her. I needed her to understand beyond a shadow of doubt that she was the only one I wanted. The only one I needed.

  I grabbed her hand and placed it over my beating heart. “Do you feel that? That’s yours. Only yours. The whole damn thing!”

  She looked up at me, wiping a tear from her cheek. “I want to believe you so badly.”

  Jesus Christ, this girl was not making it easy. What more could I possibly do to convince her that my words were true? I was so flustered because we had made so much progress and one monumental fuck-up had pushed us back to where we started. A thought struck me in my moment of desperation. I just hoped it would be enough.

  I immediately grabbed her hand and led her to my bedroom. “Brad, what are you doing?” She asked as I walked over to my dresser and opened the top drawer. My hands searched feverishly under my boxers until I felt what I was looking for. I pulled out the black box. I opened the window and held the box in front of her eyes. “Do you see this? Do you know what this is?”

  A set of wide blue eyes stared back at me.

  “This was the ring I bought for her.” I yelled as I threw it out the window. Lexi gasped as she covered her mouth with her hand. Before she could speak I walked back to my dresser and pulled out the collage frame off the wall. I smashed it on the floor as the glass shattered into a million pieces. I grabbed the picture of Emily in the center, tore it into tiny bits and then tossed it in the air like confetti.

  Lexi followed me through the apartment as I continued to pull open drawers and fling doors open, grabbing various items and stuffing them into a black trash bag. I must have looked like a lunatic as I selected everything from shirts to coffee mugs to a set of bed sheets. I hesitated when I stared at the autographed 2012 NY Giants Super Bowl team photo that hung proudly in my living room. Fuck. This was the most painful of them all. It came off wall and got tossed with the rest of the stuff. Once I was finished, I tied up the bag and threw it out in the hall and slammed the door shut.

  I spun around and stalked towards her. “There is not a trace of her left in my heart, my life, or in this apartment. Only you, Lexi. Do you believe me now? You are all I want. No one else! I will never put anyone else before you again. You will always come first from here on out.”

  I gave her a moment to collect her thoughts. I could tell she was searching for words. “What’s the matter? Did I leave you speechless?”

  Tears started to rain down her cheeks. Even with the mascara running, she was still the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. She opened her mouth to speak. “I… I don’t know what to say.”

  My hand trembled against her cheek. “Tell me that you believe me now.”

  She blinked up at me through her tender smile. “I believe you, Brad.”

  My lips landed on hers before she even had a chance to blink. There was nothing slow or soft about this kiss. With an urgent need, my hands slid around her neck demanding more from her mouth. I was officially done fucking up. From here on out, nothing or no one would ever come between us again. I loved this girl so much it scared the shit out of me. One day I would put a ring on her finger, but seeing that I just threw one out the window, it might be smart to wait a little longer.

  I dropped my face in her neck. I was so caught up in the moment I had completely forgotten about Colton. I took a step back and cradled her face in my hands. I knew she didn’t want to talk about what happened, but leaving me to draw my own conclusions was only making it worse.

  “We need to talk about what happened in your apartment tonight.”

  She drew back and reached for my hands. “Let’s sit.” She said nervously as we made our way over to the couch. Something in my gut told me that I wasn’t going to like what I was about to hear.

  She reached out and squeezed my hand. “When I heard the knock on the door, I thought it was you. I asked him to leave, but he was intent on making me listen to what he had to say.” She swallowed hard and took a minute to collect her thoughts. “He had followed me home from the club.”

  And there it was. I knew in my gut that he had been tailing us the whole time. What kind of cop did that make me? Where I didn’t even notice that I was being watched? My stomach felt like it was going to bottom out as I surged to my feet. I plowed my hands through my hair. I should have finished that fucker off when I had the chance.

  Lexi stood up and reached out to me. She placed her hands on either side of my head. “Please don’t allow your head to go there. None of this is your fault. He was going to make his move, eventually. There was nothing either of us could have done to stop him.”

  I blinked and felt my blood pressure rise to an unhealthy level. No matter what she said, I knew this was all my fault. I should have paid closer attention. I should have fucking protected her.

  “If I hadn’t pulled that shit at the club, none of this would have happened. So please don’t stand there and tell me this isn’t my fucking fault. Don’t ask me to not blame myself because I can’t.”

  “Brad, I’m fine. I’m here. He didn’t hurt me. It’s okay.”

  The amount of regret I felt was burning a hole in my stomach. I leaned my forehead against hers. “I shouldn’t have given you a reason to leave that damn club.”

  “You’re here now.” She whispered, “and that’s all that matters.”

  “He could have hurt you.” I explained, trying to contain the rage in my body.

  “But he didn’t.”

  This woman amazed me to no end. She just went through a traumatic experience and she was worried about me. I was torn between wanting to hug her or shake the shit out of her. Either way, she was too good for me.

  “How’s your wrist?” I asked, pulling her arms back so I could get a better look. It looked like he grabbed her pretty damn good. The marks on her skin had me seeing red. First thing tomorrow morning, I was going down to the police station and using every ounce of leverage I had to make sure he could never get near her again.

  “It’s fine.” She whispered, but I could still hear the tremble in her voice.

  I grabbed her hand and gently rubbed my cheek along her wrist, hoping to erase his touch from her skin. I lowered my lips to hers and kissed her softly. “I promise you. I will never let him hurt you again.”

  She inhaled deeply as my hand drifted up and down her back trying to ease some of her tension. I wanted her to feel safe in my arms. Never in my life
had I ever wanted to heal somebody, to protect somebody, or to take care of somebody the way I did her. As I held her in my arms, I promised myself that I would protect her until the day I died.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Lexi

  Brad was scheduled to leave for Baltimore the day after tomorrow. The thought of not seeing him for a few days was not sitting well with me. He hadn’t even left yet, and I’d already starting missing him. I stood outside his office in the blue dress that I had carefully selected. It was his favorite.

  His door was open, so I popped my head in. “Hey!” His head lifted in surprise at the sound of my voice. He had no idea I was stopping by. His gaze did a slow trek up my body, lingering on the plunging neckline of my dress. I would be lying if I said my heart didn’t accelerate a little faster by the look he gave me.

  “I hope you’re not too busy to go to lunch with your girlfriend, especially since she took the rest of the day off so she could come see you.”

  Brad crossed the room and wrapped me in his arms. “I’m never too busy for my girlfriend, especially when she walks into my office looking hotter than sin,” he whispered in a low voice against my ear. He knew I was sensitive there, and he was intentionally letting his mouth linger over that damn spot that got me every time.

  Words failed me as his lips trailed down my throat making a path across my skin. He threaded his fingers into my hair. “What did I ever do to deserve you?”

  “I’ve been asking myself the same thing.” I smiled, feeling warmth spread through me.

  “Are you trying to distract me from my work day?”

  I shook my head playfully. “No, just wanted to take you out to lunch, silly.”

  The smile he gave me was everything. “You and I might have a slightly different idea on what I want for lunch.” He took my bottom lip between his teeth and sucked.

  “Brad,” my voice pleaded as he slowly backed me up against his metal desk. My plan was to put on his favorite dress and get him a little worked up, just for the fun of it. I had no intention of seducing him at his workplace, but I was growing more comfortable with the idea by the minute.

  He lifted his hand and brought it to my cheek, his face grew soft and affectionate. “I don’t want to leave you. Just give me this please. I need you, Lexi.”

  The want and the need in his voice caused my resolve to snap. Even though we had slept in the same bed every night, there hasn’t been much of anything else going on. He’d barely touched me since everything that had happened with Colton a couple of nights ago.

  His strong hands gripped my hips tighter, digging his fingers into my hipbone. The sparkle in his eyes caused me to wrap my arms around his neck and flatten them at the base. Even though I was fully dressed, I felt completely naked. He inched his lips to the corner of my mouth. There was no reason for me to even try to fight it. I wanted him. I was aching for him.

  “You’re not the only one who needs this.” I said truthfully. “I just want you to leave so you can hurry up and come back to me.”

  He pulled me to his mouth. “I’ll always come back to you.” He said, and then kissed me like it was the last time he would ever get the chance. The thought of getting caught rested in the back of my mind. It caused me to shift uncomfortably. He drew back and looked into my eyes. “Don’t worry about somebody walking in. It’s just you and me. Nothing is going to stop me from taking you on this desk.”

  His hand reached out and grabbed the back of my hair. I tilted my head to get a better look at him. “Are you sure we can do this? Anyone could walk in here. What if someone hears us?” I whispered against his mouth, giving him one last chance to change his mind and get back to his work.

  He gently laid me flat down on his desk and examined my body like it was a bomb he planned on dismantling. Then he walked over to the door and clicked the lock shut.

  “You can come here wearing that dress anytime you like. I love it when you tease me. It only makes me want you even more.” He licked his lips as I closed my eyes and placed my hands on the cool surface of his desk. “I don’t want you to think about anything other than what’s right here in this room. It’s just us.” His hands slid up underneath my dress, taking their sweet time exploring my skin. “You’re so fucking perfect for me. Do you know that?”

  I just nodded, unable to speak while his hands worked their up along my breast. I reached for his belt trying to ignore the noise on the other side of the door. “We need to be quiet,” I whispered while his hand closed in on my thigh and squeezed.

  When he inched closer, brushing his leg against my center, I was starting to doubt my ability to actually keep silent. A crooked grin took over his face as he hovered over me. “I told you I don’t want you thinking about anyone else but me when I’ve got my hands on you. No one gets in-between you and me. Ever.”

  A gasp escaped when I felt his hands trace over my breasts through the fabric of my lace bra. The heat of his fingers against my skin was too much. He quickly undid the clasp, springing my breasts free. They fell perfectly into his waiting hands.

  “I’m going to fuck you in nothing but this dress.”

  There I laid on his desk with my dress pushed up, knees spread and hung open for him. I knew he loved me and there was no doubt in my mind that this was so much more than just two adults connecting their bodies strictly for pleasure. It felt like he was worshipping me with every touch and every word and I couldn’t get enough.

  His hands trailed up the inside of my leg, landing against my clit. Brad knew exactly what he was doing as he applied pressure at just the right time.

  “Oh God.” I rasped, before biting down on my bottom lip in a failed attempt to keep myself quiet. Brad hissed out a breath as I arched my body against his hand.

  My fingers clumsily worked the button of his dress pants. I was so anxious for him, I would have begged and pleaded if he’d wanted me to. His hands moved back up to my breast, fondling each one in the palms of his hands. I freed his erection and started to pump him with my hands.

  He pulled my dress up further, the cold air hit my skin making everything more sensitive. His hair was sticking up at the top and his eyes were filled with lust. God, I loved him. My hands forcefully pushed his pants and boxers down his thighs. Every muscle in his body tensed as I grabbed onto his ass and pulled him against me.

  His eyes pierced mine with an intensity that had me wanting him more than I could have ever thought possible. “We have to make this quick. I’m not going to last. I promise to make it up to you later.”

  “If you don’t fuck me right now, there won’t be a later.”

  His lips tipped up in a smile. I was done waiting.

  He settled himself between my legs and in one swift movement he was inside, right where he belonged. I grabbed onto his shoulders as he thrust into me. I felt his rippling muscles strain under the confines of his dress shirt.

  “I want to take this slow, but you feel so good.” His voice came out in a pant as he shifted his weight and shoved himself deeper. There was nothing slow or gentle about his pace. His strokes were coming faster, leaving me no time to adjust. How the hell no one could hear us outside those four walls was beyond me, but I was grateful for it.

  “Hold on.” He grunted, with one final push. I bit down on his shoulder to smother out my cries while my orgasm shattered through me. He let out one last grunt before he dropped his face into my neck. I took a minute to allow my body to ride out the aftershocks. I was officially spent. That was one hell of a way to spend my lunch hour.

  With a satisfied smile, my hands reached up to touch his face. I loved the way his skin felt under my fingertips. “I know it’s only going to be a couple days, but I’m going to miss you like crazy.” I confessed, hating the thought of being away from him.

  Brad rested his forehead against mine and I felt my throat dry up with emotion. “Well, if it makes you feel any better, I’m going to miss the shit out of you, too.”

  A loud knock startle
d us and I panicked when I saw the doorknob turn. “Morgan, what the hell? Why is the door locked? You petting your pickle in there?” Lucas said, laughing from the other side of the door.

  My eyes shot to Brad’s as dread flooded through me. He jumped off the desk before I even had a chance to blink. “Shit!” He uttered, noticing the “freshly fucked” look I was sporting. He quickly pulled up his pants and picked my bra up off the floor and handed it to me.

  “Give me a second.” He hollered, shooting me a look of sympathy. He cupped my face in his hands trying to ease my nerves. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”

  Believe me, he had nothing to be sorry for.

  I unsuccessfully attempted to smooth my still wrinkled dress and ran my hand through my hair. I really wished I had just thrown it back in a ponytail.

  Lucas was now banging repeatedly on the office door, drawing more unwanted attention our way. That only pissed Brad off even more.

  “Give me a fucking second, would you?” He looked me over from head to toe and then frowned.

  “What?” I asked, blinking down at my dress before I suddenly realized what the problem was. Great! There was no way Lucas wouldn’t know what went on in here. This was going to be nothing short of humiliating.

  “Hold on a second. I have an idea.” He said, as he grabbed his beige sport coat hanging on the back of his office door.

  I looked at him with confusion.

  He cleared his throat as I followed his finger pointing at the front of my dress. Not only was there a wet spot around each nipple, there was also physical evidence of our little afternoon tryst. I suddenly felt like Monica Lewinsky.

  My mouth fell open as he helped me into his jacket, which looked nothing short of ridiculous paired with my dress. Not obvious at all, I tried to tell myself.

  “Sit in the chair, keep the jacket on and put your purse in your lap.” He instructed me. I was in such a haze that I didn’t even to try to respond. I just did what I was told.

  Brad swore under his breath and ran his hand through his already messed up hair. He swung the door up as Lucas urgently charged past him entering the room.